Just a quick Kindle Fire update: I’ve recently replaced my original note app OneNote. While it had the simplistic design I thought I wanted, it didn’t have the organization I needed. ColorNote, again, is rather simple but has a color-coded system that I find subtly motivates me to keep some kind of order to my random thoughts. Also, it’s free in Amazon’s Android app store. And now that I think about it, there isn’t even any in-app ads. Can’t beat that.

Calendar functionality is included for those who like that sort of thing, and the app syncs up with some websites. I thought Facebook was phasing out their Notes though.

As far as the rest of the Fire goes, I’m a little upset at the latest update, so much so that I sent Amazon feedback, which is rather unlike me. It’s one thing to update security or improve network connectivity, but to rearrange the keyboard? I can learn to avoid the inconveniently placed Hide Keyboard button, but making the comma a two-step process seems like an affront to those who know how to use it.

“The time is right for a little death, for another kill, another murder” – Krypteria’s “My Fatal Kiss”

I’ve been extremely lax with the blog posts lately, but I’d like to think I have a decent excuse:  7 days from now, I’ll be a married man.  And on a cruise ship.  And out of the country for the first time in my life.  There’s an official buttload (sorry for the technical term) of last minute stuff to do.  We’ll be catching the train down to Fort Lauderdale, hopping on a cruise ship set to bounce around the Caribbean, and getting married by the captain on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic’s epic tragedy.  (The choice of dates is merely a happy coincidence.)

Now while I know I tend to overestimate my free time on trips, I’m still optimistic that I’ll have a few minutes to go over my research and thoughts and get some kind of outline together for my next writing exercise.  I’m fighting to process it in a number of ways that contradict Coincidence’s, including being open about working on it, the ideas I’ve having, etc.  I’m also outlining.  Or planning to outline.  It’s…not me, so bear with me and my hesitation and procrastination on the subject.

Codenamed “Project Temperance,” the story takes place through three to four perspectives.  I’m thinking these will be distinct partitions, as opposed to Coincidence’s connected-yet-separate narratives.  The A story is that someone at a temp agency is using the temps for her own dark plans.  With all the access you give these agencies and all the trails you leave on the internet, it wouldn’t be that difficult for someone with an agenda to get you by the gonads.

A couple voices have been pretty loud in my head with regard to who’s being used:  The thirty-something mechanic’s brother (unnamed as yet, but I’m liking Eddie or something with two syllables that ends in the -ie sound) is signing up with the agency as somewhat of a cover.  He, in reluctant collaboration with his brother, is funneling in money through other means and is trying to cover his ass should anyone consider how an unemployed factory worker is paying his bills.  The villain blackmails him to do one or more jobs for her, but is he smart enough to get out of the deal?  To turn the tables?

The second voice is Candy, the only one whose name I know so far.  She’s laid off by the factory she’s been working at for 20 years and, in the same week, learns her husband’s cheating on her.  She’s surprisingly all right with the husband, but one of her boys’ is in on the husband’s cheating.  Why is the kid going along with it and how’s it benefiting the kid?  The villain doesn’t trick her so much as gently coaxes her to do the villain’s bidding, using faux sympathy.

The third is a wannabe killer who thinks he’s found his perfect first victim: the villain.  The most educated and the youngest of the voices, he’s constantly seeing the world framed in his darkest desires.  Every word reminds him of a killer’s manifesto; every action makes him wonder how he could twist the actor’s body into a compromised position.  Seeing the villain puts him over the edge, but he has no idea what she’s capable of.  Who’s hunting who?

Now, weaved through these thoughts, is the discovery of the “monomyth.”  I’ve known of its various tangents and vague siblings, but now I’m clinging onto its idea as the perfect template to use.  But instead of using it to define the protagonist’s journey, I want to use it as the villain’s.  I have no idea what she’s doing at this point.  I look at it as chaos for chaos’ sake, much like Chris Nolan’s idea of the Joker.  But I have the sneaking suspicion that that’s a damn lie.  There are much simpler ways to be malicious, so why go to all the trouble of stakeouts, buying apps, confronting criminals, etc.?  I’m hoping plugging in info into the monomyth template helps me find out just what the deuce she’s got going on in her head.  If I don’t, then what’s the point in telling the story?

And that’s the key difference from Coincidence.  I thought that once I was done with that novel, I’d go on to music.  But I’m finding that…now that I’ve finished the story I wanted to tell, I want to tell stories.  Do you see the difference?  I guess if you have a story to tell, it’s more for your own sake.  You need to work out some details, and describing it to someone outside of yourself can help.  But telling stories is just entertainment.  It can help with issues, of course, or answer some questions you wouldn’t normally get through from internal dialogues, but it’s ultimately entertainment.  And that sounds fun.

“Go on and tease me” – Lacuna Coil’s “Our Truth”

I was raised in a typical Catholic household. Went to Catholic school from preschool until I graduated high school. Went to my fair share of masses, though not as many as the faith would’ve liked. My grandfather was raised Catholic and raised his children the same; my grandmother wasn’t baptized, as far as I know, but followed the Catholic rituals as best she could. It’s this upbringing that I fault for my belief in a better humanity.

Now, I never fully grasped Catholicism; instead, I filled in the many gaping holes in its plot with Buddhism, neopaganism, and philosophy. Catholicism doesn’t really believe in transcendence, for instance. Be good and you’ll get presents at the end of your run. There’ll be cake. But in my frankensteined belief structure, we’re meant to advance. Looking at the society around us shows us that this may be a challenge.

Advanced warfare may be the go-to for most transcendentalists as a reason we’re primitive and/or why we need to move forward. This seems natural, though. We’re animals; animals fight over scarce resources. Standing next to gas pumps with a lit cigarette? That takes a special level of human stupidity.

And yet my hope persists, despite the anecdotal evidence against it. Love the sinner, not the sin, Catholicism says. Usually reserved for homosexuality, I hold onto the maxim for stupidity. The problem is that so many seem to be trying to regress. We could spend a nearly endless amount of time pointing the finger as to the reason behind it. Media, culture, our peers. Does that part matter? What’s at our disposal and what we consume are by no means a one-way street.

So what does this apply to? Everything. Nothing. The best we can do on a bad day is to lead by example. The worst is to encourage the decay. The best, if given the will and opportunity, is to lead.

I don’t believe in selfless acts—as in their existence. Every action is selfish. But that’s alright. If every act is selfish, then the term is redundant, right? Right. So when a writing blog promotes itself as “selfless,” red flags immediately go off for me.

I love blogging; I really do. Growing up, I had surprisingly little privacy for a household of two. One of the first files I created when I received my first computer was a digital journal, buried deep with the system. When I was first introduced to LiveJournal years later, I was blown away: Here was a system that incorporated hiding in plain sight with privacy filters.*

As time went on, we moved through LiveJournal to Myspace and now Facebook and Twitter (not to mention a few failed networks in-between). Web 2.0 became the norm. And through it all, blogging somehow survived, probably due to people’s penchant to rant, particularly rants longer than 140 characters (weirdos). A fair few even make a living out of it.

But to say any of it is selfless is bull. Google ads at the bottom of each page? Not selfless. “Subtly” linking to or slipping in mentions of your projects? Not selfless. Stop pretending. Consumerism doesn’t bother me; self-righteous denial, however, tickles me like someone’s funny uncle.

What I haven’t figured out yet is who bloggers are trying to kid. You know who makes up the majority of writing blog audiences? Other writers. And while some may transfer to supporters of your project, they probably fall within the minority. The usual suggestion is to blog about another topic. Let’s say I talk about photography too. You know who’ll read it? Photographers. Still no guarantee they’ll move on to your primary project.

So what’s the point? Spewing. You have an opinion and you need to get it out. That’s valid. That’s selfish. That’s alright.

*Cruelty tip: Create a private forum where only one other person can converse with you and s/he can return to it, cherish it. Now delete it. Hilarity ensues.