This was originally titled “The Past 24 Hrs in the ePub World,” but then shit got real.  Things I’ve learned the past 3 days:

1. No matter how many times you look over a file before submitting it, you’ll miss something.  This isn’t so bad with Amazon if you do it right before bed.  Their process takes about 12 hours, so by the time you’re up and active, it’s done.  If you realize you forgot something after you wake up, though, expect a day of hitting F5.

2. Though you are living in a mostly digital world and dealing with digital files, there are still human beings working as gatekeepers.  These people are a) swamped with work, b) working within business hours, or c) reading their email whenever the hell they feel like it.  Regardless, there isn’t much you can do about it but be patient.

3. Smashwords goes into great detail about formatting of the document, etc.  I must’ve screwed up my Style or Smashwords self-admittedly buggy previewer was acting wonky, but either way, the last paragraph of every section seemed to change font.  Not knowing whether this would be passed along to the other retailers, I had to go through and modify every section-ending paragraph. 

4. When adding images to your document in Word, make sure you Insert them.  Copying and pasting will usually result in the image not working in other formats.

5. Some people are great conversationalists but can’t write an email, just like some are passable vocalists (or podcasters) but find trouble reading on mic.

6. Reading a script verbatim is possibly the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done into a microphone.

7. Do not provide unsolicited feedback and then, when I thank you for said feedback, tell me how you’re not here to give feedback.  I will be confused…confused in an enraged kind of way.

8. I know I tweeted it, but it needs to be said again: I’m thankful for my sociopathic side, for it helps me deal with impolite gatekeepers.

9. I’m not designed for excitement.  I originally thought this was a problem with self-promotion, but I’m beginning to find there’s something deeper.  I feel like such an ass for this whole thing.  I have music on Amazon.  It’s a simple, free process.  What’s there to be excited about?  But there’s still that level of excitement.  My classical and romantic sides are deeply conflicted about this.  I think I’ll go deeper into this later, but…Gah.  It’d be much easier to be full of myself.

“I want the brightest, I want fluorescence” – Faith No More’s “The Crab Song”